Listen to this story:
Matthew Hendzel, SJ, didn’t expect to find joy in a high school classroom or a retreat centre. He envisioned academia. But it’s precisely in those surprising assignments that he uncovered new parts of himself—gifts he didn’t know he had.
Discover the surprising hobby that fuels his joy, the spiritual practices that ground him—and his heartfelt advice for anyone discerning a Jesuit vocation.
What book has influenced your spiritual journey the most, and why?
I think the book that has influenced my spiritual journey the most is Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. I read the book some time ago, but the themes that it explores — fate vs. free will, grace and redemption, the existence of God, the nature of faith, and especially the problem of evil — have always remained with me.
What’s a surprising hobby or talent you have that others might not expect?
It’s not so much a hobby or talent, but I have been following Formula 1 car racing for more than 25 years. I have been fortunate to attend a number of grand prix races over the years and cheer on my favourite team: McLaren.
What part of Jesuit life has brought you the most unexpected joy?
The part of Jesuit life that has brought me the most unexpected joy is having been missioned to apostolates in which I never imagined myself working. Based on my academic background, my expectations were that I would be working in post-secondary institutions. However, for a variety of reasons, I have been missioned to work as a spiritual director in a retreat centre for a couple of years, and more recently as a teacher/campus minister in one of our high schools.
Both of these experiences have proven very fruitful, revealing to me skills and interests I never thought I had and would never have realized that I had, if I simply stayed on the initial path that I had laid out.
If you could share one piece of advice with someone discerning their vocation, what would it be?
My advice would be not to rush things…to explore your vocation deliberately and to let the process unfold naturally. If, however, there comes a time in which you feel ready to make a decision, act on it. Maybe it will work out for you, maybe it won’t…but you will never know one way or the other unless you take the chance and try it out. In my mind that’s a far better alternative than living with the question of “what might have been” for the rest of your life.
What was your biggest fear before entering the Jesuits, and how did you overcome it?
My biggest fear before entering the Jesuits was separation from my family. I thought that I would never see them again – or at least see them very rarely. However, over the course of my formation process I discovered that I was able to visit them on occasion and be present to them during particular moments of need.
Which Jesuit value resonates most with you in today’s world?
It seems to me that our present era is one of heightened polarization, which tends to “domesticate” God, forcing Him only into places where we “know” He can be found: people/places/things pre-approved by whatever particular political, religious, and social ideologies that we already hold.
As such, I think “openness” is the value that resonates most with me. Behind it lies a fundamental belief that God is active — and can be found — in today’s world, and especially in places/things/persons that one might not necessarily expect Him to be found. If one is actively committed to seeking God in all things, then one must begin to let go of ideology.
What’s your go-to prayer or spiritual practice when you’re feeling stuck?
My go-to prayer and/or practice is to go for a long walk. I find that doing so allows me to get out of my own head and to be more disposed to listen to whatever it is that God might be trying to tell me. Over time I have found my “walking prayers” to be especially fruitful – I find them to be an exercise in paying attention, in particular, to how God might be subtly trying to communicate to me through my surroundings.
How has community life as a Jesuit shaped your understanding of friendship?
My experience of Jesuit community has shown me the grace of unexpected friendships. In a sense, community forces us to live with people not necessarily of our own choosing…however, if one approaches this with a spirit of openness, it is entirely possible to share common passions, discover new interests, and be exposed to new ideas from individuals we wouldn’t normally associate with.
For example, I count as one of my best friends a Jesuit in his mid-80s, who I lived with for a period of time. Just by chance we happened to share the same community, but quickly discovered that, in spite of our ages, we shared a similar sense of humour, a similar worldview, and similar interests. Obviously, our paths would never have crossed if it weren’t for community, and so I count the opportunities that community provides to be a great blessing.
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